He clearly cares about NOTHING! 

If I had a daughter..

If that daughter had a Justin Bieber tattoo..

If I had a gun.. 

I would..

Myself

Looks Wet

Jesse Thornton recently moved to Surprise, Arizona to partake in the sweet living amenities of a retirement community.  I’m sure he was not expecting the multiple surprises (excuse my cheesy) that his new city would offer. 

After previously being pulled over multiple times by the Surprise police department, Jesse would experience his largest surprise to date.  The Surprise police department would pull off a feat that would stimulate any magician! They managed to charge a man with a DUI who showed no signs of being drunk! Wow…move over David Copperfield.

At a routine traffic stop Jesse was pulled over (again). To his surprise (last one), this time he would be taken to the station. After completing a breathalyzer that showed 0.0000, he was let go.  Unfortunately, blowing a 0 would not save him.  He was charged with a DUI and left with the bill from his car being impounded.

His lawyer claims that this injustice happened to him because he is black. His lawyer is captain obvious. I guess getting old, retiring and riding off into the sunset does not provide a safe haven from racist dickhead cornbread cops. 

The upside to this story is Jesse has a $500,000 lawsuit pending.  With any luck, the city of Surprise will have to “Show [him] the money”!

STORY

I know. hahaha

No prom date? No problem

Congrats ! How far along are you?? 

I’m Not Pregnant

OH,  sorry..